What If???

I have three lives.....one third that of a cat; my family life, my running life, and my life of sheepdogs....each brings joys and learning opportunities....each comes together in the making of me.  Recently, I've been logging a few running miles in preparation for my first ever half marathon that I will run January 18.  I love running....not so much the act of running because that comes with some baggage, but the effect running has on my brain.  If not world problems then most certainly my problems get solved or, at the least, put in perspective right around mile 3; every mile there after is productive sorting of ME.  Some days I drift into wishing I'd found running earlier in life.....who might I have become had I?  I always come back around to being grateful I have found that my two feet can carry my brain into inner depths of finding more and more of who I really am; what I am really made of.

Lately, I've been thinking about "what if's"?  "What if this were my last Christmas?" Would I spend it the way I did?  Would I say the things that came out of my mouth, had I known it was my last?  Would I have extended grace in the face of bitterness?  Would I have found compassion as disappointment showed up?  What if my first half marathon, in reality, were my last?  Would I prepare more, release expectation of pace, find blessings amongst the sore muscles and wheezy lung?  What if I let go of trying to make others happy?  The "what ifs" taking me deeper in as well as letting me go....freeing.

I look at my Snook dog, my first border collie, the one who introduced me to sheep and the ugly side of myself.  Snook is turning an old 13 this year; hind end thinning with wasting muscle.  I know my "what if's" are closer to reality with Snook.  I pinch her cheeks and remember all she has brought into my life and I discipline myself to seize the day with her.  

I've always reveled in the week between Christmas and New Year's Day; collecting slogans, motivating pictures, dreams, goals, aspirations for the year to come.  Every year, I read a few more motivational sports psychology books and am told to "visualize", "manifest", "name it/claim it", "a person's mind cannot tell the difference between that which is vividly imagined vs. what is real" or something along those lines.  I look back over my vision board and note that much of what I have put on it has come to be.  On the one hand, I'm blessed, honored, astounded.....on the other hand, a sense of superficial ME-ism rears its ugly head. I understand that working on me is what I should be working on, however self absorption might be best tempered with .....something other than that. 

I wonder: what if this year, I put on my vision board:  join in curing 90% of childhood cancer, building  a school in Africa, donate what has been collected to the betterment of others?  

A few things about me, that I know for sure:  I have always been "all or nothing".  When I want to learn something new, I delve right in...reading books, watching videos, getting in and dirty with all that is required to understand, accomplish, conquer, succeed.  I'm also pretty freaking honest which has the down side of knowing that sometimes "truth is relevant"; very cliche but every so.....true!  For 2015, I believe I am going to strive for "BALANCE".....looking for answers into the "what if's" before I act so that each day can be one of making my life extraordinary.  With balance, I know there are things I must let go of along the things I need to embrace.  

2015's vision board is coming to life, filled with one portion self improvement, a scoop of joining the cause of something bigger than me,  and a few sides of dreams, goals, and impossibilities to round me out and keep me living a life that, if it were my last days, would be so worth living.

For my half marathon, I am fundraising for the kids at St Jude Children's Hospital.....where the goal is to cure 90% of childhood cancer and no child with cancer goes untreated because of not being able to afford care.  Want to join my team?  You can donate here:  Be a St Jude Hero

Happy New Year!!!  May 2015 be filled with profound intention and dreams come true!

Seize the Day!!!!!

Back on The Road!

I'm back on the road...and treadmill for that matter.  I'm tired but it is doable.  Sunday I went out to the track...safe place to run as I could quit if I needed to and not have to worry about a long trek back....and ran five miles.  Easy at first then picked up the pace....until the track honeys showed up and I baled.  It was a good start.....but man-oh-mad was I sore.  Funny how that happens.  Now I am on the treadmill...today I am doing doubles.  Three + three seeing if I can get my milage up again with daily doubles.  I'll lift again this week too.

It feels good to be back at it......I've got a few dragons that need slaying in my head.

Seize the Day!

Benched

Well, I've been benched......was it not listening to my body, attempting to push, or was it just inevitable?  Whatever the cause, I've got pneumonia and I am now officially riding the pine pony bench of a couch in efforts to get back to the miles.  I've felt so bad I can't even be frustrated!  My hubby knew something was up when I was sleeping until 7:45..which never ever happens especially because the dogs don't want to allow it.  Today, I'm feeling better, hopeful, and thinking I might give the treadmill a slow ride today....later though.

Here is what I am learning.....

1) Run Far Girl is having a kick ass give away and today's question is "What is your hardest hill?"  Well, besides that wicked long, steep hill there on Wiltsey?  I believe my hill that I work on continually is "the hill of comparison".  I go to races that see women running 7 minute miles and I think "damn, what is wrong with me?"  Total honest confession.....my goal at the last pneumonia inducing race was to NOT FINISH LAST...with a close second goal of FINISH BEFORE THE VOLUNTEERS LEAVE (or before they run out of hot buttered rum!).  Running has me looking within......finding me and not worrying about the world while I do it.  There are days where this goes great...and days I utter fail: Very hilly!

2) I don't do sick well......

3) It is what it is...cliche.....and I will be better for it.  I feel the pressure of wanting to keep my strength to finish under 13 minute miles for the half I am doing at Disney.  I wonder about what role my head will play in this.  I've been taking the benched time to participate mentally in a running form improvement program....visualizing and trying to learn good and proper form.  I believe the mental training is just as important as the real work......as I've learned through my sheepdogs.  And so I begin to delve into this idea with my running.......can I run a 10 minute mile for a half marathon as the years go by??  I'm going to give it every opportunity to be true.

My son plays college football......we talk a lot about mental management.  I've watched him mature into the player he is today...he lives this!  He, too, was benched with an injury this past August....but all his work, physical and mental has taken him to offensive player of the game.  He lives this; I can too.  Off time can make me stronger!

Here is an interview my son did.....I post it because  just darn right love it!:

Jake's post game interview with ESPN

Seize the day!

Side Effect

When I started running...oh, was it last December?, I pretty much minded my own business and made it a journey of me.  I did not want to join any running groups, nor did I want to find a running buddy....the journey was so deeply personal, I wanted it all for myself.  At Girl Friends Run for a Cure, I met a lady and we exchanged phone numbers.  I've yet to call her; I'm a bit afraid of my running pace and what might be construed as pressure attempting to run with another person.  Today, I branched out and went to the local Turkey Trot with my son's girlfriend.  It was nice...we started together and I shouted out...you go girl.  She took off and finished strong with just under 10 min/miles while I kept to my plan and came in right around 13min/miles.  She cheered for me as I crossed the line and it was fun...in that weird running way that defines fun.

Last week, I joined in a big challenge: The Holiday Sweat Challenge.  To participate, I stepped into 2014 and made a twitter account...holy crap, what is happening to me. Then, I went and followed every single person in the challenge that allowed me to follow and wahlah....I've got a whole Twitter account filled to the brim with motivation and people I want to hear from.

I'm still a bit anti social, running is a very personal journey for me...but it's baby steps.  And besides, I really can't sit out a good challenge!  I vow to myself to hit the FB, water, and freggies every day....those are like free throws.....no reason not to make those happen.

Seize the Day!

New Beginnings

Beginnings.....it's a good time to bring my running and healthy life choices out into the world of blogging.  And so here it is....a new beginning.

I'm just 50 days away from my half marathon at Disney Land......in between now and then lie the Holidays....Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years.....and food.....lots and lots of food.  I decided to join in a Sweat Challenge to see if I can not just survive the holidays this year.

Holiday Sweat Challenge  Check it out!

After 14 miles yesterday, 13.1 run and the last mile a nice cool down walk, today was a nice two mile treadmill run following my visit with Dr. McD.  My left knee was stiff today along side my right knee, which was new.  Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good, if not a tad bit sore from the long run.  I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and the races that the weekend brings.

Welcome to Run This Mind!

Seize the Day.