Just Do IT......Small Things Add Up

Megan from Run Like a Mother writes,

Setbacks, "begin agains", and starting for the first time all present a similar set of challenges. We need confidence, acceptance and diligence; all mental strengths that usually aren't listed anywhere in a training schedule. It is easy to read about getting started, much harder to make it happen. The best way to get over these challenges is to schedule running dates, join training groups or register for a race (or all three); these external commitments keep you motivated. So tomorrow, I have a date with friends and will "begin again" on the road running. Hard to back out when friends are waiting.

Funny how I have found these ideas on my own...and glad to hear from somebody a little further down the road of experience that I am, indeed, on a good path.  1) I've found a personal trainer that embraces my running and is training me to run more efficient...and I think we can be friends 2) I've signed up to be a part of two bigger groups.... #sweatpink and #girlsgonesporty.....my application is in for ambassador.....I'm waiting; ad 3) I've signed up for a few races.  

The Hippie Chick Half Marathon in May is my next big race....and I'm excited to get back on a good and decent running schedule training for this race.  My trainer has suggested I try the run/walk method of training and I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.  I just don't know....deep inside I feel like, "if I can't run the whole thing, why do it?"  Walking feels "weak" to me.  Also, the run/walkers have irritated me a little on my runs.....they run by me, I run by them when they walk.....they run by me, I run by them when they walk.....through the entire race.  Often, at the end, I have enough in the tank to pass the groups and then I wonder.....why should I try that method??? I'm still sorting this idea out.

But I do know, I need to cross train.....so I've been jumping rope.  I was so frustrated yesterday and then came to the conclusion that my rope might be too short. I have ordered a new set of ropes from CrossRope....one weighing in at 1 pound. It will be fun to try this out and see if indeed it was my jump rope that was killing my workout....or if it was me!  I'm also going to give running in the pool a try.  Hubby gave me his little waterproof box for my iPod, now all I need to do is order new earbuds.  I also need to make sure my heart rate monitor is waterproof.....and I might order an aqua jogging belt too.  

Secretly, which is not such as secret when I write it here.....I'd like to run a 50K.  I've found a couple of "local" ultras and I am going to go and have a peek.  I wonder what those people look like....if any of them started out like me???  Really though, I'm looking for a BIG goal that has me working for years to achieve......either that, or I need to get better at the days after achieving a goal that takes less time.

Off to the track...I'm going to do a little speed work today.

Seize the Day.

Back in the Saddle

I just got back from a trip to Cali.  It's time to climb back up in the saddle and ride, baby, ride...well more like run.  Derailed is now behind me...yup, yup!  I met a new trainer that I think I might love. She is tough but encouraging and she RUNS!  I'm a bit embarrassed about how weak I am; especially when I thought I was kicking ass and taking names.  But this is a new start, or maybe the next chapter.

The trip to Cali was interesting...I find that sometimes I set myself up for utter fail and that is exactly what happened.  I experienced the worst ever eating day that I have had in years mixed with days on end of not running!  I could list out all the excuses, which there are many.  In the end, it is what I chose to do.  Funny how that really crappy eating muscle memory deomn lays latent, yet it is still strong.  When the door to that demon is cracked.....it flies out, strong as it was when I slammed the door in the first place....maybe even stronger because my mind has become complacent in not having to fight it.  Sounds a lot like addiction to me.

So now, I work on my mind again.  Let go and let God...live this one meal at a time/one workout at a time.  The work outs that are for home are easy enough to get done in 30 minutes.  I'm jumping rope on non-running days...and where I used to be killer at jumping rope...I'm a toddler now.  I'm looking into some weighted ropes and have come to realize that the ropes I am using right now might not be for a 5'11" woman.....one has felt way to short but I thought it was because I can't chew gum and lift my feet at the same time.  I'm looking forward to getting a set ordered and seeing if a well fitted rope swings better!

I also signed up for another half in May.  I might regret this but the following day I signed up for Run Like a Mother....I really loved that run last year!  Not sure what it will look and feel like after running a half the day before but at the end of the day....I can always walk.  I'm also looking at being a volunteer for an ultra marathon.  There are a few within hours of here......I want to see what that might look like.  How crazy are those ultra runners?  Were any of them like me in the beginning??

The feelings I had after the half were so raw and new to me....I'd kind of like to find a huge goal that takes me years to accomplish so that I don't have to face those feelings again for a while.  Needless to say, it feels good to have the half in front of me as a goal.......it feels good to get back in the saddle and run.

Seize the Day!!!

De-railed

I wonder if I am lost....I do know where I am though; sitting here on the couch with two border collies tucked on each side of me.  Not lost then but maybe derailed.  See here is the deal: I finished/met a goal that I have been working towards for over a year.  I ran my very first half marathon at Disneyland finishing a good hour in front of the sweepers that were giving me nightmares.  Having never ever run before in my life and, after loosing a lot of weight, I worked and trained and hired trainers to accomplish this goal.  It is done.

I contemplate what is next but in the mean time I am struggling with so many thoughts and visual images from my run.  I read other people's blogs about running sub 7 minute miles....and I read the comments from runners and I feel miserable.  I'm slow, I don't look cute at all while I run, I shuffle especially when I'm tired...and these feelings lead me to asking myself...why the hell am I doing this.  And I've been eating to boot.

The reality is: I do understand there are people who are naturally gifted runners.  I can not change them into believing that somebody like me should be out on the course running.  This is life.....it's real and people can be mean and snobbish no matter the venue I'm in.  I'm doing a lot of soul work right now...why do I want to run?  What do I want to accomplish in my running?  What goal is next?

I do know I want to run faster and with better form, I want to get stronger and I must get leaner.  Increased strength and decreased weight will obviously make me faster......plus looking at form and the fact that I am not engaging my hamstrings or kicking my heels is worthy of a look too.  But more than any of that......I am looking at me and my inside.  Why do I care what I look like when I run?  Why do I care that people think I should not be out there running?? Why can't I just find my joy and be good with me?  Why do I always strive for perfection when there is no such thing as perfect??

No I am not lost, I'm in transition.....I will keep to the work knowing that it is an inside job.

Seize the day!